revisiting an old topic I know but…

So it’s come to my attention recently that I go around expecting “a lot” out of people with regard to being my friend and other such relationships. I disagree. I expect way less out of people than I actually give them, but there’s this problem. See, evidently there are like five people on Earth at the moment who were taught what it means (to me) to be “reliable”. Reliability is like this, as far as I’m concerned–

Let’s say I promised I would help you move the furniture out of your house next Saturday. I will. That is all. No need to call and confirm a bunch of times, but it’s probably a good idea to remind me once so I’m sure to have it written down somewhere. Even if it’s like a million degrees below zero outside and hailing, if you still need your furniture moved, I’ll be there in the stupid wasteland to help you. Even if my friend who I haven’t seen in a decade just came into town unexpectedly and will only be here today, I’ll still help you move because I said I would (I’ll tell you my friend is around and try to get it done early, or try to find a replacement human if I absolutely must, but your furniture will still get moved and it’ll still be my effort). Even if I’ve suddenly got Avian flu and cannot get out of bed, or have the worst hangover of anyone’s life ever. I WILL BE THERE. Because I said I would, or I will find another way to get your furniture moved, even if I have to pay someone to do it for me.

Now, honestly, I don’t expect other people to go to these extremes, and they’re a bit exaggerated, but the point is that I do things for other people which are inconvenient for me or which force me to compromise other things I would rather be doing all the time. Even when I’m not feeling well. What I expect from other people is the general idea that I can actually count on you to either do the things you say you will or LET ME KNOW you can’t enough in advance for me to make some sort of alternate plan that doesn’t involve relying on you anymore.
Also, I mean really humans, if you say you’ll be somewhere at 10, either be there at that time (or close to it) or LET ME KNOW you’re gonna be late. Generally, you don’t find out you’re gonna be late for something ten minutes after it was supposed to happen. I have been known to call people to let them know I would be two minutes late for something because there was a slight amount of traffic between me and there.

Further, if I expect all this out of myself, and other people have learned that they can expect it from me, why shouldn’t I expect some sort of reciprocity? If I’m willing to put myself out over and over again to make things easier for other people, shouldn’t I expect the favor to be returned every once in awhile? If I’m calling you to tell you I’ll be ten minutes late because of a car accident on the road, shouldn’t you be expected to call me if you’ll be two hours late or not be able to show up at all?

Someone once told me that the (I think) small amount of effort I ask from people in the name of responsibility and whatnot is “just too much for one person”… Right then, I was doing him a favor I did NOT feel like doing simply because I had told him I would do so. Point. I know if you’re on this site and you’re reading this, you probably have already expressed roughly the same opinion or some agreement therewith. I just don’t know where all these fucking jerkwads get off playing “centre of the universe” all the time and continually expecting that someone won’t catch on.

Another thing. Fucking excuse-making. Like this: “dude, you know I’m bad at planning so you shouldn’t have expected me to actually be there anyway.” Fuck. You. I can’t get away with telling my landlord “Dude, you can’t evict me, cause I didn’t pay the rent. I’m just super-bad at math. Ask anyone.” Because I signed a contract with that individual in which I would continue to pay money each month and they would continue to allow me to live on property they own. And to me it’s the same. If you tell me you’ll do something, and I’ve told you I’m counting on you to come through, we have basically (well in the law ACTUALLY) a contract. That said, the same way a landlord wouldn’t accept my deficiency at math as an excuse for non-payment, I don’t feel I should be expected to accept your deficiency at planning as an excuse for not showing up to something you’ve had plenty of time (and reminders) to get into order.

I know I know I KNOW I’m preaching to the choir here, as it were. I just want to know if anyone has any idea what can be done about this problem (which I and a few close compatriots only see growing as time passes) short of bringing on the apocalypse or investing in tazers. (I’m really all for the tazers idea…kind of like the electro-shock collars they have for dogs that bark too much…) I also want to know when it became acceptable behavior for ALL people (or at least the vast majority) to have absolute fucking zero accountability and why I wasn’t sent the memo so I could let myself off the hook every once in awhile when I’d really rather get drunk than go to someone’s fucking wedding.