Archive for October, 2008
Holiday wishes.
On the backs of our beasts we rode toward dusk
aglisten with fangs, black claws, and tusks
an erratic beat drolls out from our drums
black chords from the earth, our hooves now strum
as the night descends from orange to pitch
our eyes glow as fierce as your plague blisters itch
Near enough now, our howl can be heard
blood curdling shrieks of the hell spawned herd
It […]
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Impossible Guide: How to tell if something is awesome.
There is no standardized approach to measuring awesome, however I think with a little help from my readers we can put together a standard scale of awesome, ranging from One to Scott Baio in a laundromat, giving a double thumbs up to a clothes-basket carrying C3P0.
The fundamentals of awesome can be boiled down to a […]
Another Strongly Worded Letter
Dear Makers of Candy Corn,
I must first compliment you on the little scam you have been running since the late 1800’s. It was a stroke of capitalist genius to create and mass market a “candy” that had a half life instead of a shelf life, and your marketing department must be top notch. […]
Not quite back to regular programing…
So this Saturday marks many occasions. The first of November, all saints day, and most importantly the Impossible Halloween party in Mission, KS. Contact me for more information. In the mean time, I want you to think long and hard about whether or not you’re actually one of many iterations of a […]
Read More..>>A Strongly Worded Letter to the Honda Corporation
Dear Honda Corporation,
First of all, I would like to praise the unique craftsmanship of your fine line of automobiles. I purchased a new Civic in 2005, and have enjoyed many of it’s characteristics, including it’s amazing gas mileage and convenient maintenance schedule. In fact, it is due to the reliability of your product that it […]
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